Watercolor and goauche aquamarine, diamond and white metal pendant rendering by Joana Miranda
Watercolor and Goauche Aquamarine, Diamond and White Metal Pendant Rendering by Joana Miranda


Sometimes obvious when we’re looking with the benefit of hindsight, or at someone else’s problems…

so much harder to figure out when we’re confronted with our own problems.

Today I talked with a dear friend and felt like a fountain of wisdom and insights.  I felt like I was qualified to give her lots of “great advice and perspective” since I have “been there” before.  But after I hung up, I found myself hoping that

she had really felt listened to

my advice wasn’t totally off,


that my own beliefs weren’t clouding my judgement.

So, more for my own sake, than for anyone else’s, I’ve compiled the list of 15 actions below as a reminder for how to survive and thrive in difficult situations:

  1. live by your values
  2. aim to be your best self in all difficult situations (not just when things are going well)
  3. don’t ascribe motives to other’s actions (or lack of actions) and words
  4. realize that we all see with blinders and through the distortion of our own “glasses”
  5. hold your beliefs lightly
  6. when you find yourself overly upset about something, realize that what’s upsetting you is probably even bigger than what has happened (and is usually about your own past)
  7. ask for what you need and be clear about your limits
  8. don’t expect others to read your mind
  9. realize that you can’t change other people
  10. be the change that you want to see in the world
  11. forgive yourself
  12. be kind to yourself
  13. realize that we can only do small things with great love
  14. seek out a community of people who love, support and help you to be your best
  15. when in doubt, be generous


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