In my post yesterday (see here), I suggested that my approach to working with children has undertaken some changes of late.  I credit one book, in particular, with that shift…

How to Talk So Kids Will Listen & Listen So Kids Will Talk

How to Talk So Kids Will Listen

And I’d go so far as to say that this book is a must read for anyone who…

  • has kids
  • works with kids
  • was once a kid


  • is in an adult relationship

(In other words, EVERYONE would benefit from reading this book!)

Why?  Because not only do most of us come in contact with children as part of our day-to-day life, but we adults also retain some childish needs and insecurities, too!

Now, I’ll be honest; years ago as a step-parent I reacted very negatively to the suggestion that I read a “how-to” book on raising children.  I felt that my methods were enough under scrutiny as it was.  And, I didn’t want to read a book that told me “kids come first,” or that implied that any attempts at discipline were akin to abuse.

This book is not about how to discipline your child, nor is it about laying blame on parenting techniques.  Rather, with humor (yes, there are even helpful cartoons!) it sets forth insights and suggestions for how to communicate effectively with your child so that both of you get your needs met.  Encouragement and development of the child’s intelligence and skills are key elements in the approach.  Coupled with empathy and understanding, the practical methods suggested are almost a no-brainer.

Peaceful resolutions to conflicts?  The ability to state limits while still maintaining goodwill?  Expressing anger without being hurtful?  Those are some pretty powerful life skills…

Read on!



  1. Tina says:

    That’s a book I own and have yet to read! Thanks for the suggestion – a good reminder to me!

    • Joana says:

      Hi Jemeenie,

      I was initially skeptical of the cartoons, but the minute I started reading the book I got hooked (and I DID find the cartoons helpful afterall.) I found the chapters on “Praise” and “Freeing Children From Playing Roles” particularly insightful, too.

      Just finished doing some wood-shedding in Ein Heldenleben which I have to do this week out in NJ. I’m kinda looking forward to a break from playing at this point, but that won’t come until mid-June.

      Love you!

Leave a Reply